Why Me?

“Why Me?”

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that’s in complete opposition of what you’ve envisioned for your life, and the only thought that comes to mind is, “Why me?”.

“Why is this destructive person in my life?”, “Why does my boss speak to me disrespectfully?”, “Why do I feel so isolated and removed from my friends?”, “Why do my children not listen to a word I say?”, “Why has my business not skyrocketed yet?”.

Why do we tend to direct this question outwardly, as if someone or something is choosing these circumstances for us? We ask this source, why are you choosing me to be mistreated, deprived, unhappy, hopeless? Why are “you” making me suffer in this way? Let’s get real, who are we talking to? Really, let’s think about this for a second...

You may say you’re speaking to God, inquiring why He’s created these circumstances for you. You may be speaking to the universe, your spirit guides, or your version of an all-knowing source that could provide some revealing insight. As you ask your higher power, “why me?”, do you ever get an answer that satisfies you, or makes you feel better about the undesirable circumstances you find yourself in? I’ll give you a moment to truly ask yourself this question...but I’m assuming your answer is no. 

As I would repeatedly and desperately ask, “why me?”. I was so caught up in my own negativity and wasn’t truly willing to be still and listen to God’s response. (Throughout this post, I'll be referencing God aka He, please substitute with whatever term resonates with you most). Even if I did get as quiet as I possibly could, this question defies everything God is about. There’s no way God will provide you a list of your crappy qualities that justify why you’re living an undesired life. 

No matter your spiritual beliefs, there’s a universal understanding that all forms of higher power come from a place of love, abundance and creation. As you attempt to ask this source why you're living in fear vs. love, scarcity vs. abundance, powerlessness vs. creation, you may hear crickets from the source you’re seeking, but you will get tons of feedback from your own mind. Most likely, the answers you’ll receive will be based within the confines of your own negative self-talk, confirming unhelpful beliefs and conceptions you have of yourself and the world around you. These conceptions are all an embodiment of your current state of consciousness. 

In order to access the answers you truly desire, it requires stepping out of your current state of consciousness; into a heightened space of receptiveness. Right now, as you think about the circumstances that make you unhappy, you feel victimized. This perception of being a victim is a state of consciousness that detaches you from the conception of being a powerful creator. In this state, it’ll truly be difficult for you to effectively hear answers that don’t match how you’re currently viewing yourself and your world. 

To be clear, I’m not saying God doesn’t hear your desperate attempts for answers. I’m not implying God will ignore you and leave you in suffering forever. What I am suggesting is we all have a responsibility to rise up to a state of consciousness that supports the conception that we are creators of our reality. We are all responsible for acknowledging the form in which God intentionally constructed us. If you’re not able to at least entertain the idea that you have a lot more power to create than you assume in this moment, how are you able to be in receptive mode for what God reveals to you? 

Imagine a woman screaming to you for help, asking you to pick her lifeless body up from the ground because she can’t walk. You immediately ask yourself, “What’s the problem? I don’t see a wheelchair around, no crutches or any other assistive walking devices. Why is she asking me to do something she can offer herself?”. You ask her if she has a disability, and she says “no”. You attempt to show her how capable she is of sprinting to the end of the block, but she refuses to hear you. You try to pull her up and get her stabilized, but she buckles down to the ground hopelessly. She’s created an illusion of being stuck, even if you perceive her as fully capable of walking. 

Your assumption of having little to no control over your life is the same as this woman refusing to acknowledge she’s able-bodied with working legs that can assist her out of her current state of immobility. This situation leaves you with nothing to do but wait for the day she embraces this truth. You can’t carry her on your back, you can’t prop her in place and walk away. Similarly, God can’t carry you in the current state you’re in. He is patiently waiting for you to simply acknowledge your ability to create the change you desire with the gifts He’s provided you. He can’t give you the answers you aren’t able to hear right now. He can try, but His message will fall on deaf ears. 

Why do we tend to feel so powerless and out of control of our lives? Simple, because up until this point you have been. You’ve been the victim of your environment, your circumstances, your relationships, your work, etc. You have unknowingly given a force outside of yourself total control of the wheel, and have willingly moved to the passenger side of the ship that is your existence. This may sound harsh, with little cushion around my words to make it easier for you to hear. That’s the point, to offer you a reality check! To provide you an opportunity, in this moment, to get real with yourself. To step out of the state in which you’ve been existing, and into a new way of perceiving the unwanted circumstances that surround you today. So why not make the choice, right now, to step into this truth. To begin living a created life versus a reactive one.

The human race has been constructed to create, manifest and thrive. We have been gifted the ability to think at free will (unlike any other animal in the entire kingdom), and to create that which we focus our thoughts on. There have been various studies that prove when we focus our thoughts on something consistently, we trigger increased neural activity in the associated area of the brain.

“Neurons that fire together wire together"-Andrew Newberg, pioneer of Neurotheology.

This means, the more we focus on a specific thought or belief, the more it alters our brain activity, triggering new behaviors and increasing the chances it will manifest in our physical reality. 

This is how God constructed us, to create realities reflective of our thoughts. Many times we divert from this, and create our own delusional perceptions of what life is “really like”. We deduce ourselves to powerless creatures whose lives are at the mercy of external forces (both positive and negative). We pray outwardly for change, forgetting to pray inwardly to activate the power within to create change ourselves. But today, I’m inviting you on a journey. A journey of assuming you’ve been created in God’s likeness, giving you God-like capabilities to design your circumstances and curate a life according to what you desire. This doesn't have to be a belief you've carried your entire life. This could be a brand new concept for you. Regardless of where you are in your spiritual journey, I invite you to assume this is true, for one day.  

My most desperate “Why me?” moment happened 4 years ago. I was in a relationship I felt victim to, I was living a life that felt 100% out of my authority, and I was absolutely miserable. My daily mantra was, “why me?”. I probably repeated that question at least 100 times per day, never getting an answer from “out there”. Instead, I created my own responses to this question. Unfortunately, the state in which I was living in my mind could only provide answers that made me feel significantly worse, confirming how undeserving I was of attaining the circumstances I truly desired. 

“Why you? Because you’re not that amazing. This is your reality, you either take what you’ve been given and show some appreciation, or off yourself if you don’t like it. You didn’t put in the work the way others have to deserve an amazing life. You’re a little crazy in the head, so of course the only type of partner you’ll attract is someone on your same level of craziness. Did you expect anything better? Haha! You’re a joke. This is your life. Get with it or get gone.”

This was the tone of the answers I gave myself whenever I asked that same, tired, victimizing question. When I’d had enough of feeling powerless, I did exactly what my thoughts told me to do; I attempted to numb it all and get gone, for good. I wasn’t receiving any other hopeful revelations as I persistently asked, “why me?”. So I did the only thing I knew to do to make it all go away. 

Fortunately, my attempt failed. Not only was I still here, but I’d received an awakening so powerful it’s hard to describe in words. I felt God activate the gift of creative brilliance within me. Something I'd never intentionally tapped into before. I was given another chance to embrace the idea that I was designed to be a creator, just as God is. This wasn’t something I’d ever believed before this moment. I always assumed everything was out of my control. I thought God was detached from my physical body living somewhere in the sky far away, orchestrating things according to some unknown formula. But in this moment, I realized God lives in my physical body. He shows up as a creative force within my imagination, something I previously labeled as the source of childish daydreams and futile fantasies.

After this experience, I never again asked the question, “why me?”. I admit, I’m not always tapped into my creative brilliance 24 hours a day, but I do know how to redirect myself out of the victim mindset when I’m feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances. I now know I have total control over who and what shows up in my life. I have the ability to rewire my brain and behavioral activity to fire in the direction of what I want versus what I don’t. The biggest lesson I learned though, was that God was accepting of me even in the moment I was actively attempting to destroy my life. He never left, He was always there, waiting for me to awaken. He stepped in to prevent a huge mistake from happening. The unconditional acceptance and love I felt in that moment hasn’t left me since. 

Today, I ask you to take the easier route. You don’t have to come close to death to experience God. Instead of asking “why me?”, step into a heightened state of consciousness by asking “why not me?”. "Why not take responsibility and begin exercising my creative muscles in a new way? Why not start focusing my thoughts on what I do want instead of dwelling on all the things I hate around me? Why not take inspired action to create a small change in my circumstances now? Why not allow myself to step into my true essence as a creator?" The answer is simple, there’s no reason not to! 

If you’ve read this and you feel resistance or judgement in reaction to my words, or if you feel irritation in response to what you’ve read, then I’ve done my job! Those types of reactions are indications that you’re on the brink of stepping into a heightened state of consciousness. Your subconscious mind is trying to stop it from happening, trying to protect you from harm and hurt. Your internal protective mechanism shows up as tension in your mind and body and the only way to bypass it is recognize and experience those feelings, and move with them. A great trick is to say to those feelings, “Thank you for showing up and trying to protect me from harm. You’re appreciated. But this time, I’m taking the driver’s seat. If you’d like to join me, you’re allowed to sit quietly in the back seat with your seatbelt on.” Our subconscious resistance and fear will always be there, and you have the ability to choose the role it plays. 

This is your opportunity to allow yourself permission to take on a new conception of yourself, and try living as a creator for the next 24 hours. Nothing harmful or destructive can come out of entertaining the idea that you can create positive circumstances in your life. I dare you to test this out and see what happens. 

I challenge you to create something small in the next day. Ask yourself, “What can I create that’ll make me feel good?”. Identify your intended creation and say, “It’s time to create __________ in the next 24 hours. I’m tuned into my creative intelligence, and I will create want I want, just as God did.”

Try making this 24-hour creation project attainable. If this is your first time testing this out, you want to initially go at a pace you can manage. You can gradually make your creation challenges bigger and bigger as you start to see evidence of your ability to create.

Please feel free to reach out to me to let me know what you’ve been able to create in the next 24 hours! Email me at alisha@refindyou.net. 

Now go create!

Blessings,

Alisha